I read some time ago a text that stayed with me over the years…
We are never quite there. There is no “there”. We will never get there. No end goal. No fixed point that we need to reach. We are always BECOMING. There is no place or form for us to reach, as the ultimate goal is not perfection, but is us being transformed by life … in perpetuity.
I loved it! But this got me thinking … if the goal is not “to get there” or to be perfect, then what is the goal?
I personally came to the realization that …
The goal is to become.
As in – A state of continuous transformation and development.
When we think ‘Finally, it’s perfect!’ or “Finally, I got what I wanted! I can be happy now!” – is that actually true? Is there anyone who ever got what they wanted and .. that was enough?! I personally don’t think getting that one thing that we want is going to make us stop wanting anything else from that point on .. on the contrary, our mind will always look for the next goal for us to keep following again, and again, and again… it’s nothing wrong with setting goals and achieving them, but do you know
Why do you do what you do?
Or is it your unconscious fears and needs that are driving your actions?
Do you really want to be successful, or do you actually have a very big unconscious need to always feel important and be validated all the time for what you do, to be praised and told that you are good and valued? Or maybe you actually want to impress your parents and make them proud of you .. and that is driving all your career and life choices?
What is the drive behind your actions? do you know why you need money, success, or even want marriage or kids? Is it a need or a desire? Is it really yours, or did you just submit to society’s and your parents’ will and vision about your life?
The minute we stop and feel “I have it all, I know it all, I am the best of all” it’s the moment we actually stop becoming.
Become what? I hear you ask.
BECOMING is a state on its own, there is no need to attach an ending to it. It’s growing, it’s transformation, it’s movement. But it’s definitely a more nurturing and fulfilling state than Being Perfect.
Being Perfect is final. There is nowhere to go from there. Perfection is Death.
Becoming it’s vibrant, it’s ALIVE. As long as I live, I am becoming. There is no final destination. I am becoming every day. Every day is a new chance to become.
So … why do I do what I do? What is my … Purpose?
I want to help people heal. To guide people through their healing process.
Why is this important?
Because if we don’t heal – WE CANNOT REACH OUR FULL POTENTIAL. We play it low, remain hidden, retract from the full expansion that life has to offer and we live our lives small, feeling unfulfilled, resentful, and full of regrets.
We do this because we want to protect ourselves from more suffering than what we’ve already suffered. The ego wants and needs this protection. So we start to create intelligent defense mechanisms and sabotaging systems so we don’t want to have to feel rejected again, abandoned again, or get hurt again (physically and but more often emotionally), humiliated, neglected, betrayed, and powerless again. EVER AGAIN if that is possible.
Our life experiences have taught us that life can be cruel, unfair, and unjust, that love means suffering, and that we have to fight and battle for everything we want, thus, as a result of this worldview, we’ve transformed all of our relationships into battlefields and now we ask ourselves why we feel so drained, exhausted, tired, burned out, depressed, disconnected, unseen and lonely, even when we are part of a couple.
All the experiences we had that made us believe this about life are blocking us now from opening up again to life and its possibilities.
Everything bad that we’ve ever experienced has turned into an alarm system in our body and psyche and it’s being triggered every time we are facing similar situations like the ones in the past. This happens unconsciously. The moment we become conscious about it, it’s when the alarm has been triggered and we start to feel all these emotions that are running through our body. Most people, at this stage, they’ll do anything to shut it off. TO NOT HAVE TO FEEL IT. Because it can be too much and can overwhelm the system, and it can feel like we’re “losing our head”. Which is more or less exactly what’s happening. The rational brain shuts down and the emotional brain takes over, at least for some time … until we manage to come back “online”.
If these experiences/alarms are triggered enough times (think of your entire life.. ), they become ingrained in us as limiting beliefs and automatic programs that remain stored in our bodies and brains forever. Until we decide to take a conscious look at them.
But first – for us, as human beings, to heal .. we first need to raise our level of consciousness (aka awareness, presence, level of understanding, vantage point, etc).
This is the first and most important step. Only when we become aware of ourselves, our thoughts, emotions, behavior, pain points (which lead us to our attachments), and the patterns that keep us in a loop and sabotage us, then we can start to consider changing them .. hence, we start the healing journey.
When healing has occurred, it feels like an unshakeable truth. You now KNOW and understand YOURSELF. Not just mentally, but also emotionally and spiritually – what happened to you, what effect all those experiences had on you and how they kept you stuck, who you are now, why you do what you do – and most importantly,
BECAUSE YOU NOW UNDERSTAND YOURSELF SO WELL AT THESE LEVELS, YOU CAN NOW ALSO UNDERSTAND OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL.
This only means that you have developed the capacity to listen more deeply, to see things more deeply, to feel more deeply, to be more present with yourself and the people around you, the regulate your nervous system by yourself, to empathize and to feel more compassion, to drop into your heart and operate from there as well (not just from your mind), to finally … give more to yourself and to this world. Because now you understand, more than ever, that it is not just about yourself and your needs anymore. You operate in a unified system with the rest of the world and anything you do, any action you take, massively influences the whole system as well.
And so, since you KNOW AND BELIEVE this with all of your heart, you REALIZE THAT YOU MATTER. YOUR ACTIONS MATTER. WHAT YOU DO MATTERS. WHAT YOU SAY MATTERS. WHAT YOU SHARE WITH THE WORLD MATTERS.
And so, you realize that YOU CAN TOO CHANGE THE WORLD AND HAVE AN IMPACT. If you’d want to. You too play a role in this world, you too have gifts and talents that make this world a better place.
And so, you choose to share them with the world and become .. a (wo)man of service. Not just… a (wo)man of taking service.
With healing also comes great freedom, peace, creativity, love, compassion, joy, energy, and vitality, as we don’t use our vital life force to unconsciously suppress deep-seated emotions or to protect ourselves from more pain anymore, but we use it to create and to experiment with life, take risks, explore, and find our gifts and share them with the world. Pushing through being afraid to show your work, to show yourself, to move past the fear of rejection and criticism.
THAT IS REAL FREEDOM: To know who you are and to stand in your power.
What “the world” (read mom, dad, family, friends, boss, colleagues, fans and followers, haters, the society) has to say about you … does not affect you anymore, because no other external opinion is going to change the deep-seated TRUTH about who you are and why you do what you do that you unshakeably know about yourself.
So, to summarize all the above:
My purpose is to help people BECOME conscious and aware of their behaviors, emotions, patterns, limiting beliefs, and automatic programs, so they can better understand themselves, the other people around them and the world they operate in more. This makes them better prepared to start their healing journey.
Healing then leads to new resources, energy, vital force, and space. Only then we are open to receiving everything life has to give us, taking more risks, opening up to possibilities, and being able to reach our full potential.
I am ready to walk the distance to make this world a better place. To make my contribution to creating a more conscious planet. To help people understand who they are, what they can do, and what are they here for.
I can help/guide people to come back to their essence. To who they are. I help people get to know themselves better.
I can guide people on how to take the time and create the space in them (to break the auto-pilot/unconscious state) and how to take a brave look at who/what they are in case they’ve started to question that. Or if they lost themselves for any reason.
Because we do get lost at least one time in a lifetime.
It’s a scary time for any of us when we feel lost and disconnected. We stop feeling the foundation that our identity was built upon our entire life, as we start to question everything about ourselves and who we’ve been so far. And that .. is scary.
I help people reconnect to who they already are, but forgot.
My work creates a future where …. People stop living on auto-pilot accepting “what life throws at them.” They become their own person, reach deep down for resources, and then make better decisions, not just for themselves, but ones that would benefit the greater good. For all of us. For humanity.
They understand themselves better and because of that, they can empathize with other people better, too. Authentic relationships are a natural consequence of this state. They start to live from their truth and that becomes the source of their strength.
WHO ARE MY PEOPLE? Those I actually do this for.
I believe the people I can help are, what I call, The Seekers. They seek answers, they seek more. The people who have already understood that they can do more. That they are more than the form they are in right now. But are just blocked or stuck in some limiting patterns and self-sabotaging behavior. And they are brave enough to start digging for answers. Because yes, we dig for answers inside, not search for – outside.
They are the ones digging for answers and also, asking questions. The hard questions. They are on the point of their AWAKENING – not from sleep, but from a life lived on auto-pilot. They have already challenged the status quo, their own or their society’s and they want answers. Not a minute later, but now.
“What is happening? Why I am doing this? Why am I feeling what I am feeling? Is this my life? Is this all there is? What else is there? Am I supposed to be ONLY this … and do just that my entire life?! .. “
They want to learn more. To understand more. To unlock their potential. Their full potential. They want more from life.
They want to be the best version of themselves. Or maybe they want to find themselves. Again. Because somewhere, along the way, or because of something that happened or didn’t happen, they lost the sense of who they are. Their direction. Or their purpose.
But they all want to find out who they are … now, at this point in their life. Their identity, abilities, capabilities, gifts, and talents, and then what they can do with them.
Because they want to matter. They want to make a change. In their personal life and in this world. To leave their mark and to live a life of meaning and purpose. To build something or to leave behind something that is aligned with WHO THEY ARE now. They don’t know yet how they’ll do that, but they for sure know that … it’s time.
Because a life lived only by society’s expectations has become too small for them and it’s beginning to suffocate them. A part of their identity is suffocating another part that is trying to emerge, but it can’t. Because it has no space where to do that.
And I am here to create, together with them, a space where this new self can appear and blossom. Where they can show up and take all the space that they need.
So, I ask you … are you a Seeker?
How much more of yourself are you going to sacrifice just to fit into other people’s expectations? How much more time do you have left until you suffocate that part of yourself that wants to … BECOME?
The right time was years ago. But a good time it’s NOW.