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  • What is coaching?

What is coaching?

How a coaching session might look like

New to coaching? Start here.
Ok, so you’re new to coaching, haven’t heard much about it or if you did, it didn’t make a ecco – until now 🙂 It’s my mission to help raise awareness around what coaching is and isn’t and how it is perceived at the moment around the world and in Romania (Eastern Europe), my country.

First of all, don’t worry if you don’t know much about it, as you are in the same group as with the rest of 90% of the population. Coaching as a profession (is not yet regulated, but I am sure we will get there) is fairly new – it started to appear only 15 years ago. Many people still argue it’s not even a profession or an industry, but I have many reasons to think that it is, exactly like any other liberal profession out there: counselor, notaries, inginers, architects, doctors, psychologists – and I’ll try to explore all of the reasons below.

Article Contents:

  1. What is a liberal profession? Yes, let’s take that out of our way first.
  2. A little Coaching History
  3. What is Coaching – the ICF’s definition
  4. What does a coach do and doesn’t do?
  5. What happens in a coaching session and/or a coaching process /program?
  6. The Coaching Process – Step by step
  7. How does coaching differ from therapy and other helping professions?
  8. Types of Coaching
  9. When can we engage in a coaching process? How do I know if I need/beneficiate from coaching?
  10. How much does a Coaching program cost?
  11. Final Words – my personal view on Coaching
  12. 3 Sample Master Coaching Sessions with Rich Litvin @Mindvalley


What is a liberal profession? Yes, let’s take that out of our way first.

A liberal profession is an occupation pursued in relation to an ideal of public service and requiring substantial mastery of complex skills in the liberal arts or sciences which cannot be delegated to assistants.

So, it’s basically public service + complex skills in the arts or sciences and can be performed only by the specialist. I would definitely say that coaching checks all of these points at once.

A little History of Coaching

Timothy Gallwey. It is generally accepted that coaching appeared in the 1970s as a continuation of the ideas of the “Human Potential Movement“. The first fundamental publication about coaching was written by Timothy Gallwey and called “The Inner Game of Tennis“, which was published in 1974. Gallwey described the work principles of sport coach with his wards and how these principles can be transferred from sport to other parts of life.

Read an extract of this book in pdf: “The Inner Game of Tennis” by Timothy Gallwey

John Whitmore. Whitmore was a professional racing driver, and after completing his sports career – a successful businessman. In 1971 he met with Gallwey and started to study coaching with him and helped in promoting the principles of the “Inner Game”. In 1979, Whitmore popularized the principles of “Inner Game” in England. In the late 1980s, Whitmore developed the model GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, What). In 1992 he published the book “Coaching for Performance“, which became the main manual for coaching. John Whitmore is the main theorist of modern coaching.

Read this book in pdf: “Coaching for Performance” by John Whitmore

Since the mid-1990s, coaching has evolved into a separate line and the first international organizations have started to appear: the “Association for Coaching“, the “International Coach Federation“. These organizations have developed training standards for coaches.
The real tipping point in the spread of coaching was probably the mid ’90s when business coaching really took off. IBM was the first large company that made use of coaching, which “took coaching from being a personal development vehicle for individuals to a way of developing people in business.”

What is Coaching – the ICF’s definition

ICF (International Coaching Federation, one of the most renowned and regulators in the industry) is defining coaching as:
#Coaching is a life-changing experience that helps people tap into their potential, unlocking sources of creativity and productivity. In this video, learn how partnering with a professional coach can help you to achieve your personal and professional goals.

What is coaching? ICF Coaching Basics from International Coach Federation on Vimeo.

What does a coach do and doesn’t do?

Maybe some of the most important things to mention here would be that a coach does not need to be an expert in the coachee’s issue. Exactly like a psychotherapist, a coach doesn’t need extensive experience related to the coachee’s problem, as the coach does not look at details and/or content, but at the mindset of the coachee, their language, the beliefs, their inner thought process and helps them broaden their universe by asking open questions, meant to explore their inner world, to challenge their worldview, to pull back the client to have a more holistic view of the situations, to look at it from different angles and overcome blockages.

A coach does not need to have been a Master at Procrastination to help a client overcome procrastination, but he needs to understand the client’s worldview, to empathize with their struggle, to challenge them in the right direction, to look, observe and listen to the client’s language, body language, to help them see the wider context (zoom out from the woods to see the trees) and help them activate the necessary resources (time, courage, support, finance, confidence, analytical thinking, leadership, etc.) to overcome their fears and obstacles and reach their goals.

Furthermore, I’ve summed up below what a coach does and doesn’t – does any of the below surprises you?

What happens in a coaching session and/or a coaching process /program?

Coaching is always connected to a change / overcoming a situation / getting unstuck/ enhancing current skills or getting new ones or building healthier habits for a better life.

Coaching can be done with a client – where the coach has its own practice, with a team member – where a manager applies the coaching approach to solving work related issues (it became a requirement for top leaders and managers to have finished a coaching program nowadays), with a team – where the coach can be an agile coach helping out with the team’s synergy, opening their communication channels and cultivating empathy. Agile Coaching is very common in IT teams within corporations where multicultural environment is present.

Depending on the case, helping the coachee (the person who gets to be coached) can take one or more sessions. For some issues where the coachee doesn’t need to activate many resources or to make deep changes, the results can appear after only one session. For bigger, deeper issues, where the coachee would need to make deeper work (search the answers within) and activate many resources, get new skills/remove bad habits – the coaching will become a process/program.

The Coaching Process – Step by step

A process can be of 4/6 sessions up to 10/12 sessions, with a frequency of 1 per week – that is 1 to 3 months, or more, until the goal has been reached. Coaching is different in many ways from therapy, but is especially different because it’s very short (therapy can take 1 year at least, up to 5 years or more) and it’s goal and performance oriented (therapy goes to the root cause and takes time to heal).

First contact: usually over the phone (as a result of an email and/or recommendation from a client), the potential client and the coach discuss about what is the current situation the client is facing (ex: was promoted to manager and has a hard time with the team), what is their goal (ex: become a leader and inspiration for their team while motivating them), the frequency, the costs, the role and responsibilities of them both; the coach will also check the level of motivation and desire to change of the coachee – a person who is not ready to change cannot be coached. Is like coming to a coach with the desire to start saving some money, but you don’t really want to make real changes in your money/financial department, but instead you expect the coach to miraculously save money for you in your account 🙂

First session: is always about getting to know each other and creating a connection. Also, the larger context of the issue will be discussed and the expectations the coachee has from the coach, but also how will they measure the success at the end, and in between the sessions – the KPIs. Here the coach will also mention that in between sessions there will be, most likely, some exercises to be done.
The first session finishes ideally with a clear goal to which the client is going to work towards and the coach will help him stay on track and keep them accountable. Also, the initial plan is sketched – the steps the client needs to take in order to get/ to become where/what they want.
Also, of course, it can happen that the client doesn’t not know what’s the goal and feels that they’re stuck – and so, setting up a goal can take more than one session.

2nd to 5th/11th session – the client and the coach meet to discuss the progress, the obstacles, which be sure there will be many, as we are hard-wired to resist to change. Creating a new habit which you never had for 30 years can be more daunting than it seems, the same with ditching a habit that doesn’t serve you well, but you still did it for the last ten years (like eating junk food, going to sleep too late, hitting the snooze button 10 times in the morning, always rushing to work, using the smartphone too many hours a day, etc.). In this timeframe, the plan can be changed, re-assessed according to client’s needs, in case they change.

The coach will assist the client through education about how humans behave, how the brain works, what’s a worldview, how we see the world and experience it, how emotions / thoughts and behaviour are connected, what drives us, but also assist them to explore they inner world, get to know themselves better, by answering / going through especially designed exercices/coaching tools/ techniques.

Bringing self awareness to their own thoughts, feelings, behavioural pattern, beliefs and limiting beliefs is the first step that ignites change. Only by becoming clear on where you are and where you want to be, the path to get there becomes obvious. Until then, it’s just something abstract, there somewhere in the back of the head, which seems impossible to achieve.

6th (or the last) session – Provided that the goal was achieved, the last session is about doing an overview of the entire process, the starting point, the steps that were taken and the change that was made in this process, the internal experience of the client, the coaching process and the end results. The last session, comes to full circle, unless while working on the first goal, the client discovered/uncovered another insight that they might want to address or work on, and in this case the coaching process can be restarted.

While this is just a template, to give both parties (coach and coachee) some structure, is not meant to be strictly followed, as every client is different and has different needs/challenges, and the process can be as well interrupted, shortened or paused and then restarted.

We are all different and that is our superpower.

How does coaching differ from therapy and other helping professions?

“Professional coaches know the importance of identifying the characteristics and ethical considerations which differentiate coaching from consulting, therapy, mentoring, counseling, or even friendship and support group membership.

While coaching and therapy share some similarities, psychotherapy often focuses on the impact the past has on the present, on healing psychological dysfunction, and on relieving emotional pain. The therapist is considered to be the expert, the one with answers about what is right for the client.

Coaching focuses on the present and future, the client’s strengths, life purpose and goals, working with clients to create possibilities to enrich their life. Based on the belief that all individuals are whole, capable individuals, coaching assumes the client is expert, able to determine what is best for their lives and the coach works along with them to maximize their personal and professional potentials, to close the gaps to create extraordinary lives.

To learn more about the differences, download ILCT founder Dr. Patrick Williams’ article Borderline: Understanding the relationship between therapy and coaching. “, excerpt from ‘What is coaching’ article, The Institute of Life Coaching training.

Types of Coaching

There are many types of coaching and they all differ based on their purpose. There are 2 big categories, Life and Career/Business Coaching, under which we can find many other subcategories and even niches, like Career coaching for Moms that what to return to work, Entrepreneur Coaching for people who would like to start a business or become a freelancer, etc, serving only one group of people with similar life/career goals.

The 20 niches Infographic from Erickson Coaching International School

When can we engage in a coaching process? How do I know if I need/beneficiate from coaching?

There are a number a benefits that come by hiring a coach like saving time, giving you peace of mind, gaining clarity in your life, empowering to take action and make those dreams a reality, developing new skills and insights about who you are and what you want from life, finding your purpose in life, having a supporter and mentor in your life that is there for you in your toughest moments;

but there are also numerous opportunities when a coach can have a great impact in your life, personally and professionally.

  1. When you are stuck and you need help to find direction
  2. When you are ready to go to the next level – not just better, but grow exponentially.
  3. You take on a new role / a new challenge – be it a management role, a freelancer role, a mom role, a new job, a new country – the transition process can be scary for anyone.
  4. When you are the problem / leadership skills – you realize or you receive this feedback from your team. Nobody wants to hold the team’s growth, so instead you decide to do something about it and broaden your perspectives, become more flexible, more human, connected to your emotions, break bad habits, learn new skills that inspire your team to grow as well.
  5. To save time/ money/overcome potential obstacles and unnecessary stress, especially when jumping in new ventures – coaching accelerates your success, helping you get from point A to B faster than you could on your own – and save you the stress of having to figure it all out on your own.
  6. To increase your confidence levels and get you re-motivated.
  7. To train your brain into a winning mindset . All athletes have coaches to train their bodies, but what really sets sporting champions apart is their winning mindsets.
  8. To understand yourself better and identify the blind spots. One of the keys to unlocking your potential is gaining a clearer understanding of yourself, what makes you tick, and what blind spots might be holding you back. A coach can help you dig deeper into your own psyche and really analyse your strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement.
  9. Coaching is for anyone interested in personal development, getting to know themselves better, overcome fears and blockages, taking on new skills and make lifestyle changes, going through a transition or just to boost their overall well-being.

How much does a Coaching program costs?

The fee system varies from coach to coach:
– Programs : some of them develop programs around a specific topic with a set number of sessions, like for example ‘Coaching for a better expat life – how to make the most out of your new host country’. A program will have a fixed sum and it’ll be paid most probably in advance or in a few installments.
– Bundle up session – they can sell a bundle of 5/6 sessions and the topic is chosen by the client. Usually the bundle is paid upfront or in a 60%-40% after 3 sessions format.
– Pay for every session – this is the most common way of a fee structure when it comes to coaching, especially for beginner coaches.

The costs vary depending on many, many things like coach’s experience (the more experience and results you have, the higher the price), reputation, type of coaching (executive/leadership coaching or business coaching are the most expensive ones), the geographical region (people in Eastern Europe cannot afford a US coach’s fee, so there needs to be a balance according to the local market).

In Europe, for example, a coaching sessions starts around 50 Eur up to 100 Eur, for the coaches that are just starting out, and can rise up to 2-300 Eur for the more experienced ones, but also exceed 1-3,000 Eur per session for the best coaches with the highest reputation on the market.

As a rule of thumb, coaching will always be more expensive than therapy, as it is a short term commitment which will bring immediate results, compared to therapy, where a long term investment in needed and so, automatically, the price per session will be lower, though is Western Europe, a therapy session can cost somewhere between 70-150 Eur as well.

Final Words – my personal view on Coaching

Last, but not least, I think a Coach should have a natural calling for helping people (and not be in the profession for the money), have a solution oriented approach, be genuinely interested in helping other people, be intuitive and empathetic, hold a safe space for the client to manifest its own thoughts, feelings and behavior, be non-judgemental and make no labelling, trust that we are all OK (we do not need to be fixed) and we have all that we need inside of us already – we just need to be reminded of it and helped to activate them, be inspirational, motivational and a good leader.

A good coach is someone you know you can trust, creates a relationship with you based on confidentiality, trust, gives feedback and feedforward, does not hold any negative feelings towards the clients, does not set some expectations, creates pressure or stress to the client, and most of all, does not create a co-dependency relationship with the client.

The ultimate goal of coaching is to have clients able to coach themselves out of the situations their in and coach themselves into the emotional and physical resources that they need.

3 Sample Master Coaching Sessions with Rich Litvin @Mindvalley

Lastly, I leave below a sample of deep three coaching sessions where Rich is able to hold the space (silence, safety, acceptance) for his clients, so they can have their own realizations. An insight, a glimpse of who we can become can be enough to change our world forever and take us to the next level.

Rich is paying attention very carefully to his coachees, to their emotional state, to their language and body language, he is establishing rapport at all times with them, questions them, challenges them, makes a few observations and then he creates the space for them to put them all together and connect the dots. He is indeed a Master Coach (the type of coach that would definitely cost thousands per session) and one of my favourite coaches that I follow.

The coaching sessions start at minutes 35 and 47, if you want to skip the intro.

An image is worth 1,000 words, but a video is everything. No amount of words on a page or article can describe as accurately as this video and these 3 coaching sessions can. Powerful coaching transform lives. Forever.

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Andreea Baudici - Life & Career Coach

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Have you met yourself?
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Life Coach| Change Strategist| Spiritual Being
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Andreea Baudici Coaching
Ar fi fost frumos sa am o poza si din rolul de fac Ar fi fost frumos sa am o poza si din rolul de facilitator. 
Dar inca nu am.
Inca 😊
Dar am din ziua in care am pus totul la cale. 

Ma uit la mine in aceasta poza si imi aduc aminte din ce energie am creat acest spatiu, si cu ce intentie.
“Imi doresc sa stam in cerc, cativa oameni, sa ne uitam la noi insine si la ceilalti, sa ne dam voie sa ne descoperim si sa stam putin asa, noi cu noi, si noi cu ceilalti.
Conectare. Sa fie loc de conexiune si conexiuni. Un container de siguranta, dar si un spatiu de creatie.
Si nu orice fel de creatie, ci o creare de sine, sau o re-creare. 
O reinventare. 
Liniste si speranta, atat in suflet, cat si in viitor. “

Asa mi-am imaginat atunci si cu intentia asta setata am facut si poza. Si cred eu ca am reusit sa surprind aceasta stare si in poza, si sa o transpun si in atelier. 

Asta am simtit eu. Si dupa feedbackul primit, tind sa cred ca asta au simtit si participantii. 

Va multumesc frumos! 
[swipe left for the feedback]

O noua zi de gasire si regasire de sine - acest quest numit Ikigai - va avea loc si saptamana viitoare, pe 24 iunie. 

Mai multe detalii gasiti pe stories sau pe linkul din BIO. 
#ikigai #workshop #findyourspark #personaldevelopment #knowthyself
“Paaai … in cazul asta, ar fi doar o singura i “Paaai … in cazul asta, ar fi doar o singura idee, sau maxim doua de pe lista asta, care s-ar potrivi in toate cele 4 sectiuni. Si anume Event Planner.", mi-a zis azi o clienta cu zambetul pana la urechi. ​​​​​​​​
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Stiam amandoua. ​​​​​​​​
In sfarsit gasise ideea de business pe care o cautam de cand am inceput sa lucram impreuna.. Iar asta este intr-adevar un moment life changing. ​​​​​​​​
Respiri iar dupa 7 luni de tinut respiratia, de cand ti-ai dat demisia..​​​​​​​​
Este inceputul unui drum nou. Iar azi a fost momentul in care a batut la usa aia buna si i s-a si deschis larg. ​​​​​​​​
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Cum am ajuns cu clienta in claritate tocmai astazi? ​​​​​​​​
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Azi a venit momentul sa facem exercitiul Ikigai. Un exercitiu pe cat de simplu, pe atat de puternic daca e facut la momentul potrivit. ​​​​​​​​
Cu o lista de idei de afaceri si activitati de freelancer in fata, am rugat-o sa le treaca pe toate prin filtrele Ikigai-ului. ​​​​​​​​
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Deodata i s-a luminat fata si a zis “O singura idee se potriveste perfect in toate aceste sectiuni. Event planner.” ​​​​​​​​
“Perfect. Ce minunat! Cum ti se pare aceasta directie profesionala pentru tine?”​​​​​​​​
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Nu mi-a mai raspuns. Zambea larg uitandu-se pe geam, cufundata intr-o reverie. Deja isi imagina cum va arata noul ei job. Noua ei viata. Pentru ca o noua directie profesionala nu este doar un job nou. Este un nou inceput. ​​​​​​​​
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Aceasta este puterea lui Ikigai: iti arata directia catre o noua viata. Daca esti pregatit sa faci saltul. ​​​​​​​​
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Acest exercitiul il voi face si la workshopul de pe 10 iunie. ​​​​​​​​
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Daca vrei sa treci si tu prin acest proces, te astept cu drag.
Detalii: LINK IN BIO.
Tot mai mult lucrez cu oameni care vor sa isi schi Tot mai mult lucrez cu oameni care vor sa isi schimbe cariera. 
Unii vor sa isi schimbe directia profesionala, sa faca cu totul altceva, iar altii vor sa inceapa ceva nou pe cont propriu. 

Cert este ca “am ajuns la saturatie. Sunt demotivata, obosita, nu mai gasesc nici sensul, nici bucuria in ceea ce fac.” Asta aud aproape de fiecare data, intr-o forma sau alta. 
Si inteleg. Am fost si eu acolo, fix in acel punct, in 2018. Simteam ca imi vand sufletul in fiecare zi. Ca fac ceva ce nu mai suportam sa fac, dar nu stiam ce altceva as putea face. In afara de a-mi da demisia bineinteles, ceea ce am si facut, de altfel. Pentru ca ajunsesem ca un arc intins la maxim si chiar nu mai imi pasa de ce va urma dupa. 
Stiam doar ca “vreau sa se termine odata tot!” 

Insa, nu a fost cea mai usoara cale, sau cea mai strategica decizie, si asta am descoperit mai tarziu pe propria piele. 

Asadar, ma gandesc sa construiesc un programel (adica e mai scurtut decat un program) in care sa va ajut sa gasiti cariere sau directii mai bune pentru voi, cei din prezent - adica mai aliniate cu cine sunteti astazi, nu cu persoana care a intrat pe piata muncii, acum 7-10 ani. Si sa nu ajungeti pana in punctul de a va da demisia si apoi sa va intrebati “si eu acum ce fac?!”.
Haideti sa ne intrebam asta inainte si sa facem un plan de exit sau de reconversie profesionala - sustenabil. 

DAR! In pasul in care sunt acum, am nevoie putin de ajutorul vostru 🙂 
Sa il construiesc pentru:
- persoane care stiu deja noua directie, eventual sa inceapa ceva pe cont propriu, dar le este frica sa actioneze, si sunt blocati in frustrare, frici si blocaje
- persoane care nu stiu in ce directie noua (dar tot un job) ar merge, dar stiu ca aici nu mai pot sta si sunt gata sa inceapa sa exploreze ce altceva e potrivit pentru ei

In care din situatiile de mai sus va aflati?
E acest program de interes pentru voi? Exista o nevoie reala pentru el? 

#careerchange #reconversieprofesionala #soloprenor #changeyourlife
Drive. Motivatia de a face sau nu face ceva Am ob Drive. Motivatia de a face sau nu face ceva

Am obiceiul sa imi cumpar carti cand se intampla ceva frumos in viata mea. Din dorinta de a marca cumva momentul si de a-l pastra cu mine ca o ancora la care sa ma intorc de cate ori vreau, am dezvoltat un ritual: ma duc intr-o librarie, ma uit la titlurile cartilor, citesc putin pe spatele lor si apoi aleg una, in mod intuitiv. Apoi imi las o dedicatie pe prima pagina. 

Atat cartea, cat si dedicatia sunt in ton cu ce simt in acel moment si rezoneaza cu situatia in care ma aflu. 

Aceasta carte am cumparat-o in 2020, cand am simtit un val mare de motivatie. De claritate. De “stiu ce am facut”. O claritate de cristal, cat si forta interioara de a face lucrurile sa se intample. 
Nu stiam ce voi citi, dar speram ca va avea legatura cu ce simteam eu. Si chiar a avut, pentru ca am aflat lucruri noi despre ce este motivatia si ce nu este, si m-am si regasit complet in cea de-a treia forma de motivatie din carte (pentru momentul in care ma aflam): 

(1) Autonomy—the desire to direct our own lives; 
(2) Mastery—the urge to get better and better at something that matters; 
(3) Purpose—the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves.

Toate cele 3 forme corespund cu trei mari nevoi care stau in spatele lor: 
1. Nevoia de a fi competent
2. Nevoia de autonomie
3. Nevoia de conectare si a fi in contact cu. (relatedness)

Now back to you: Daca ar fi sa te uiti la viata ta, la deciziile pe care le-ai luat pana acum, ce tip de motivatie ai avut? Poti identifica pentru fiecare decizie luata ce ai urmarit/ti-ai dorit sa obtii? 

La o mica analiza, s-ar putea sa fii surprins si sa fie diferit fata de ce credeai despre tine. Cunoscandu-ti adevarata motivatie de a face ceva, de a alege sa te implici in ceva, iti va oferi sanse mult mai mari de satisfactie, spre deosebire de “nu stiu de ce fac asta, teoretic nu cred ca vreau, dar pare ca ar trebui sa o fac, si deci, hai ca o incerc sa vedem ce iese.”

#drive  #motivation #personalgrowth #needs #values
Inainte de a va ura cele frumoase de urat, as vrea Inainte de a va ura cele frumoase de urat, as vrea sa deschid un subiect mai putin placut .. dar poate de o importanta mai mare decat o urare standardizata. 

Sarbatorile in familie, in mod ideal, ar trebui sa le putem vedea ca pe un prilej de bucurie, reconectare, regasire. Sa fie un moment sau un spatiu in care sa ne simtim acceptati, iubiti, in siguranta, pentru ca .. “daca nu in sanul familiei”, cum se spune, atunci unde?! .. 

Insa, cu o mare tristete si greutate in suflet stiu ca in cazul foarte multora dintre noi, nu este asa.. 

Cand exista dinamici toxice (si sincera sa fiu, cred ca in toate familiile exista) intre membrii familei, sarbatorile devin … prilej de traumatizare si re-traumatizare.

Ne ducem “acasa” cu garda deja pusa, incepem sa ne gandim cu groaza cu o zi sau doua inainte ca iar “trebuie sa mergem la ai tai sau ai mei” si, cand ajungem acolo suntem .. hyperalert. 
Deja stresati de dinainte sa fi intrat in casa, suntem in fight or flight response .. atat noi, si cat ceilalti membri ai familiei, si reactionam din acel loc pe toata durata vizitei. 

Toate lucrurile nespuse si reprimate, durerea si amintirile care dor, ranile emotionale netratate si ignorate ani de zile, parerile contradictorii pe subiecte sensibile - toate sunt  acum la mijloc si stau in calea conectarii autentice dintre noi. 

Pentru ca nici noi, si nici parintii nostri nu am invatat cum sa ne controlam emotiile si impulsurile, cand cineva incepe, nici celalalt nu poate sa se abtina, si deci masa de sarbatori devine .. un teren minat. Nu stii pe ce calci si de unde explodeaza ceva. In scurt timp, ceea ce trebuia sa fie un moment de liniste devine .. un razboi. 

Caption too long..
[gasiti continuarea pe blog]
LINK IN BIO

#personaldevelopment #emotionaltriggers #conscious #higherconsciousness
De mult imi doream sa fac o astfel de postare ✨💛 🙌🏼

Sunt recunoscatoare ca am sansa sa lucrez cu astfel de clienti, atat de deschisi si curajosi, si care imi dau voie sa le impartasesc povestea si cu voi.

Sper sa o gasiti inspirationala si relatable deoarece “problemele” ei sunt problemele noastre, ale tuturor.
Poate suntem unici ca oameni si personalitate, insa avem cu totii aceleasi nevoi, iar asta ne aduce mereu impreuna si ne conecteaza. 

Asadar, va las cu povestea Ioanei si cu modul in care am abordat sedintele lucrate impreuna. 

Like, share and save - ca sa stiu daca mai fac astfel de postari 😊 

#coaching #personaldevelopment #gratefulheart #greatclients
“Dar tu ce faci, ca nu am inteles .. ce face un “Dar tu ce faci, ca nu am inteles .. ce face un coach? Sunt curioasa cum arata procesul.. Seamana cu terapia?” 

M-a intrebat cineva zilele trecute, la intalnirea No.Mad Talks, primul meu event de networking pe 2022.

“Da, seamana” am raspuns. 
“Au puncte in comun, dar nu foarte multe. Pe o axa a timpului, astazi fiind prezentul (la centru), in terapie de obicei se lucreaza pe istoria vietii tale, din copilarie pana in prezent. 

Astfel, impreuna cu terapeutul, te uiti la evenimentele importante care te-au marcat si cum influenteaza ele prezentul. Unele pot fi acum chiar rani emotionale, in functie de ce fel de copilarie ai avut. Terapia este mediul cel mai potrivit pentru a le vindeca. 

In coaching, plecam de la punctul prezent si mergem spre dreapta, adica spre viitor. Ne uitam impreuna la cum e viata ta acum, intr-o anumita arie, si apoi spre viitor, cum ai vrea sa fie in 1-2 ani, sau pe termen un pic mai lung. 

Incepem cu o sedinta de discovery, cum ii zic eu, in care povestim un pic despre situatia in care esti si cum ai vrea sa fie diferita.” 

Si m-am oprit. Partea cea mai importanta, pe care cu adevarat as fi vrut sa i-o transmit, nu am mai apucat, discutia fiind deturnata de interventia altcuiva din grup. 

Am ramas cu gandul la acest lucru si cu o usoara urma de tristete, asa ca am decis sa o scriu aici si sa o impart si cu voi, pentru ca ea reflecta, de fapt, ce fel de coach sunt eu si cum lucrez. 

— “Caption is too long.” :) 
Ma acuzati, nu reusesc sa ma incadrez in limitele unei postari pe Instagram. 

Pentru ca .. nu exista limite :) 
Asa ca am continuat povestea pe blog. 

[link in BIO] 

#coaching #coachingforwomen #coachingobjectives #purpose #meaningfullife
People pleasing Perfectionism Scenarita Mânie, ir People pleasing
Perfectionism
Scenarita
Mânie, iritabiliate
Frica si griji constante
Mereu in garda
Gandire alb&negru
Zero incredere in oameni
Zero rabdare
Minimizare - vezi doar partile negative 
Evitare oameni si situatii
Anxietate

Toate astea .. nu sunt Tu. Sunt doar mecanisme de aparare dezvoltate de-a lungul vietii pentru a te proteja de durere si suferinta. 

A venit timpul sa renunti la ele ..
te tin captiva intr-un endless loop de disconfort emotional. 

Sinceritatea totala fata de noi insine este extrem de importanta pentru cresterea personala. Atata vreme cat nu vrem sa ne uitam la ele, o sa simtim ca nu avem niciun control asupra ceea ce simtim, ca suntem la mila lor. 

Dar nu este adevarat. Cu putin antrenament putem manageria tot ce simtim. 

Incepe prin a te intreba:
- ce reactii am cand simt frica, rusine, vinovatie, presiune, respingere sau critica? 
- cat de des simt aceste emotii?
- gasesti mereu scuze pentru comportamentul tau? 
- cine, cum si cand (adica triggerii emotionali) imi provoaca aceste stari si emotii? 
- cine ma supara, ma face sa sufar cel mai des? de ce? 

—> Cat de greu iti este sa raspunzi la aceste intrebari?  #emotions #personalgrowth #awareness #introspectie
M-am intrebat si eu mult timp acest lucru. Nu mi-a M-am intrebat si eu mult timp acest lucru. Nu mi-a fost mereu clar si cand l-am auzit prima oara a fost oricum prea abstract ca sa pricep la ce se refera. 

Asa ca am cautat intrebarile care sa-mi dea raspunsul: 
- Cum de azi poti sa faci ceva ce acum cativa ani, sau poate chiar anul trecut, nu te vedeai facand sau nu puteai? 
- Pai .. azi pot pentru ca am crescut. M-am dezvoltat pe anumite directii si azi sunt capabila sa fac ceea ce ieri nu puteam.
- Si cum ajungi sa faci asta? 
- Pas cu pas, trecand printr-un proces de transformare: 

 🔸Educatie- adunam informatii (citind, vizionand, ascultand, experimentand) despre cum functioneaza omul, organismul uman, psihologia umana, atat individuala, cat si de grup, ce ne motiveaza si ce nu, cat si istoria dezvoltarii umane de la BC si pana in zilele noastre. 

🔸Constientizare de sine - ma observ pe mine, ca om, cum gandesc, cum ma comport, ce zic si ce fac. Ce obiceiuri am, ce fac fara sa gandesc, la ce opun rezistenta si evit, si spre ce merg fara sa gandesc. 

🔸Explorare si intelegere de sine - lucrez cu mine, singura, sau cu cineva specializat, intrand intr-un proces de cunoastere de sine, pentru a intelege cum am ajuns cine sunt azi. Pentru asta putem lucra cu un coach sau terapeut, in functie de cat de mult vrem sa intelegem despre noi. 

🔸Acceptare de sine - Poate cel mai important pas din procesul de dezvoltare este sa acceptam cine suntem azi. ACUM. In aceasta forma. Acceptand cine sunt azi, pot si ajung sa ma iert pentru tot ce n-am fost si cum am fost in trecut. Astfel, facand acest pas, ne deschidem catre schimbare.

🔸Schimbarea de sine - Facem asta prin asumarea responsabilitatii fata de propria persoana si fata de calitatea vietii pe care ne-o dorim, dar si prin DISCIPLINA. Disciplina sinelui de a nu cadea iar pe vechile cai. De a fi mereu prezent noi cu noi, de a observa ce zicem si ce facem, si de a ne corecta din mers. De a nu ne da voie sa ne mai mintim singuri si sa ne mai ascundem.

-- continuarea in primul comentariu --
Ne place sa credem ca suntem fiinte rationale Ca Ne place sa credem ca suntem fiinte rationale 
Ca ne planuim viata 
Ca suntem in controlul ei …

Si poate chiar facem eforturi supraomenesti sa ramanem zilnic in control pentru ca alternativa ar fi groaznica, nu? Cine sau ce altceva ne controleaza viata, daca nu noi?! …

dar mai devreme sau mai tarziu, ni se intampla si noua ce i s-a intamplat lui Will Smith la decernarea premiilor Oscar. 

Te ridici de pe scaunul tau, urci pe scena, il palmuiesti pe prezentator, fara sa realizezi ce faci, care sunt consecintele actiunilor tale si care e miza. Si abia cand “te trezesti”, iti dai seama ce ai facut.. 

Dar din ce te trezesti? ar fi o intrebare pertinenta. 
Pai te trezesti la realitate dintr-o stare de inconstienta, atunci cand mintea subconstienta trece la carma pentru cateva secunde. 
Our unconscious. Our shadow self. Our unconscious ego. 

Pentru azi planuisem alta postare, dar pentru ca Will Smith mi-a oferit material mai bun de lucru, si m-am gandit si eu la incident destul de mult, am zis ca merita sa analizez putin pe marginea acestui subiect. 

“Ce ar trebui sa se intample in mintea si sufletului unui om si actor de talia lui, sa fie impins sa faca un gest atat de agresiv, intr-un cadru atat de formal? Ce trebuie sa ti se intample ca sa iti zboare toata ratiunea pe geam si sa ajungi sa te comporti ca si cand toata cariera ta, reputatia si viitorul tau nu mai conteaza?” 

Am incercat sa raspund la aceasta intrebare intr-un articol pe blog. 
[link in BIO]

#unconsciousmind #emotions #personaldevelopment #awareness
“An essential part of true listening is the disc “An essential part of true listening is the discipline of bracketing, the temporary giving up or setting aside of one’s own prejudices, frames of reference and desires so as to experience as far as possible the speaker’s world from the inside, step in inside his or her shoes.

True listening requires a setting aside of one’s self, and sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of their mind to the listener.”
- from my new found source of wisdom, M. Scott Peck. 

• Daca vrem sa schimbam modul in care ne construim relatiile, daca vrem sa avem relatii mai profunde, putem face ceva pentru asta. Putem incepe cu cel mai mic pas posibil, si anume, sa tacem mai mult. Atat. That’s all it takes.

• Nu e un “atat” nesemnificativ, pentru ca inseamna sa fim in contact in propriile ganduri si prejudecati, si acelasi timp, destul de prezenti pentru a alege constient sa ne “dam intr-o parte” propriul ego destul de mult timp si de eficient, astfel incat sa putem asculta si intelege ce ni se spune. Nu doar pentru a auzi cuvintele. 

• Nu e nimic mai intim decat a ne simti vazuti si intelesi de celalalt in cele mai mici aspecte ale fiintei noastre.

Listen. 

#truelistening #meaningfulrelationships #lifeskills #deepconversations #behere
“Viata e grea. Viata inseamna o serie intreaga d “Viata e grea. Viata inseamna o serie intreaga de probleme, de care ne lovim zilnic.

Temandu-ne si anticipand suferinta ascunsa in ele, cu totii, unii mai mult, altii mai putin, avem tendinta sa evitam problemele. 
Procrastinam, asteptand sa dispara de la sine. Le ignoram, uitam de ele, ne prefacem ca nu exista. 
Unii din noi recurg recurg chiar si la alcool sau alte tipuri de substante (inclusiv zahar) pentru a ne amorti si de a nu fi nevoiti sa simtim acea durere. Incercam, mai degraba, sa crosetam in jurul problemelor decat sa le confruntam. 
Am face orice sa scapam de ele decat sa trebuiasca sa trecem prin ele.” 
- The Road Less Travelled , M. Scott Peck 

Nu exista ceva ce oamenii nu ar face ca sa evite suferinta emotionala. E ceva foarte adanc inradacinat in noi si, pusi in fata unei situatii greu de suportat, am face orice ca sa nu avem de-a face cu ea .. 

Insa, evitarea problemelor inseamna evitarea vietii. Pentru ca viata e “o serie intreaga de probleme, in fiecare zi.” 

Si atunci? .. ce facem? Am incercat sa raspund la aceasta intrebare in postarea de azi. 

Ma intreb oare: este folositoare? 💗

PS. Cartea e magnifica, o recomand cu cea mai mare caldura. Are 4 parti: Discipline, Love, Growth & Religion si Grace, iar primele 2 parti le-am citit de mai multe ori. Am gasit in ele noi definitii si perspective despre ce inseamna self-discipline si iubirea. 

#emotionalintelligence #selflove #lifeskills #personaldevelopment
We find out who we are by finding out all the puzz We find out who we are by finding out all the puzzle pieces that we are made of: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Values⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Motivators⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Needs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Beliefs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Personality traits⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Interests ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How can you be happy at a job with numbers when you value people, relationships, and being of use? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How can you be happy at your job when you value Authenticity but the company is not transparent? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How can you feel Valued and Seen when the company puts micromanaging first and is led by power, control, and dominance as Values? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

How can you be happy when you have to deal with clients and frustrations every day, but based on your personality need more downtime instead and prefer working behind the scenes? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You can't. Because it's not aligned with who you are and what you need or life's vision. And even if you don't know that, you feel that something is off. It's not for you. But you don't know what to do either and feel trapped. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, how about, instead of feeling miserable every day, decide to get to know yourself a little better. I have a program that does just that and it's called || Personal Mastery ||. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A combination of personality tests, coaching and counselling sessions, a personality assessment and at the end you leave with an extended Personal Development plan that will help you go even more in-depth into getting to know yourself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you've read all the way down here, it might sound like something you'd like to do and if you feel that you are ready to meet yourself - DM me and I'll send you more details. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Looking forward to meeting you as well, too! <3 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#knowyourself #loveyourself #love #selflove #knowyourworth #motivation #selfawareness #selfcare #wisdom #life #yourself  #meditation #mentalhealth #psychology #beyourself #success #personaldevelopment #mindfulness #quotes #knowledge  #intuition #knowthyself #happiness #selfworth #positivevibes
🔅 Self-Efficacy 🔅 Self-Esteem 🔅Self-Compa 🔅 Self-Efficacy 🔅 Self-Esteem 🔅Self-Compassion. The 3 big dimensions of ~ Self Confidence ~⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🔅Self-Efficacy is the idea and belief that we can create the desired results and find solutions for complex problems. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🔅Self-Esteem is the effect of self-efficacy. When we create and achieve things on our own, we give ourselves a boost of real and authentic confidence. We made that! and that is real power. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🔅But, my fav from all 3 is by far - self-compassion. If you'd have asked me if I am compassionate towards myself a few years ago, I would have replied something along the lines of "Compassion?! What do you mean by compassion? I don't have time to feel sorry for myself!" ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yeap. there you have it. That would have been my ego-infused answer and attitude towards compassion and self-love. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Compassion, kindness, vulnerability, understanding, care, and even love - "those are for weak people. I am strong!" :) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Strong I was, no doubt. But with what cost?! I would push myself into doing whatever it took to get what I wanted or what I was supposed to do.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
 But when I couldn't do them ... oh, boy, when I couldn't.. my inner critic was so strong that it would throw me up in the air and then sweep up the floor with me, face down. Or at least it felt that way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I've come a long way since then and now I can embrace who I am, flaws and all, and most importantly - I am paying attention to how I speak to myself. And that is a real game-changer. 💕
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If you're new to the self-love journey - start from here: listen to your thoughts and change the words you tell yourself into something kinder, the same way you do with a loved one. 
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Can you do that? 💗 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#selflove #love #selfcare #loveyourself #motivation #happiness #positivevibes #life #inspiration #believe #quotes #instagood #lifestyle #mindset #success #happy #instagram #yourself #bhfyp #goals #positivity #motivationalquotes #inspirationalquotes #quoteoftheday
The best caption there is - a poem. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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"It is not enough to know.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It is not enough to follow⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
the inward road conversing in secret.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It is not enough to see straight ahead,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
to gaze at the unborn⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
thinking the silence belongs to you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It is not enough to hear⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
even the tiniest edge of rain.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You must go to the place⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
where everything waits,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
there, when you finally rest,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
even one word will do,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
one word or the palm of your hand⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
turning outward⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
in the gesture of gift.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And now we are truly afraid⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
to find the great silence⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
asking so little.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
One word, one word only."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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“It is Not Enough” by David Whyte.
“Feeling OK there?” 2 days after reading an ar “Feeling OK there?”
2 days after reading an article about being disconnected from ourselves to the point of getting exhausted and burned out and not even noticing, the question still lingers in my head. 

• “Feeling OK there?”, this question, a form of self-checkin on us, should be a constant self-care and self-love practice in our life. 

• When we hurt ourselves physically, we take notice of it immediately and we take appropriate action. But what about our emotional wellbeing? Are we always aware of all the feelings and emotional states we’re experiencing?

• I intentionally picked this picture, because I was .. serene. I was calm, relaxed, deeply connected to my inner self, present into my body, listening to an audiobook while sitting on a bench, on a sunny, beautiful day. 

• And I anchored that state. I took a mental and physical picture of that moment. It has become my benchmark. 
Every time I do a self check-in, I bring back that moment, that feeling and relive it. It helps me understand and compare where I am at right now emotionally with where I should be - my benchmark. 
It helps me asses how far off I am from a relaxed, calm and peaceful state. 

So, now I can ask you: 
- Feeling OK there? 
How are you taking care of your emotional wellbeing? How are you paying attention to your emotions? 

#emotionalwellbeing #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #emotionalwellness #selfcare #mentalhealthawareness #wellbeing #mentalwellbeing #mentalhealthmatters #emotionalintelligence #mindfulness #selflove #mentalwellness #anxiety #wellness #healing #emotions #emotionalhealing #therapy #emotionalsupport #mentalhealthsupport #meditation #mindfullness #psychology #selfcompassion #personalgrowthjourney #health #therapist #love #bhfyp
Time and time again I find myself arriving at this Time and time again I find myself arriving at this conclusion. When times are though and external change is no longer a possibility, we need to look inside. 

• We are forced to switch on and turn off some inner buttons, to flip upside down some old perspectives, to dig deeper for some new insights and realizations to be able to internalize the new situation that we’re facing. 

• And we only have two options, really. Accept and change or resist and keep finding ourselves in the same situation over and over again until we learn the lesson. How many times are we willing to take this rodeo - that choice is ours. 

Picture quote by @themindfulcorner 💕 

#innerself #meditation #love #mindfulness #innerpeace #selflove #spirituality #innerwork #spiritualawakening #life #healing #innerstrength #motivation #yoga #selfcare #gratitude #higherself #peace #quoteoftheday #bemindful #nature #inspiration #gowithin #quietmind #stillness #consciousness #selfawareness #happiness #peacefulmind #bhfyp
For the longest time we only thought in black and For the longest time we only thought in black and white: are you an optimist or a pesimist? 
Is it half full or half empty? 🤷🏻‍♀️
Well, guess what, the way I see it, it doesn’t really matter. :) the glass is refillable and we can always pour some more 💕 Happy Monday everyone 💪🏻

#beoptimistic #halffull #positivity
Be. Here. Now. Today is all we got. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Be present in your life. Get out of the rat race for a second and look at your life from the observer's point of you. Do you like what you see? Are you happy? When did you stop living? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Take a second to celebrate your life AS IT IS right now. Be grateful for what you've already accomplished SO FAR. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Work on your past, forgive yourself and others. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Stop worrying about the future. By trying to control the future and the outcome of situations you only set yourself up for disappointment. The more you try, the more ego you put into it, the more you raise your chances to not get it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Set some goals yes, but be ready to drop them and embrace the unexpected - it might not be what you wanted, but certainly, it is what you need at this point in your life in the grand scheme of life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
No event happens without a reason. We "lose" people, relationships, projects, jobs, only to find out years later, that if that event did not happen, we wouldn't be this version of you today. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, have some faith and trust the road that is lying ahead for you even if you don't know what it is, yet. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It will be revealed to you as you walk on it, not if as you plan it and try to control it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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"Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear, are caused by too much future, and not enough presence." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
- Eckhart Tolle
Here's a thought: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - ho Here's a thought: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
- how many of your relationships, and I mean all of them (partner, ex-partners, friends, family, colleagues), etc.) are falling into the Healthy category and how many into the Unhealthy? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Do you have healthy relationships in your life? It's not all black and white, of course, we all have good periods and bad periods, but we should look at the overall feeling in relationships. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Do you feel heard, valued, safe, and intimate most of the time, or unsafe, confused, ignored, and anxious?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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 #healing #alwayschooseyou #findyourpurpose #healing #innerwork #coachingstrategies #lifehacks #putyourselffirst #coaching #lifecoach #lifecoaching #mentalhealth #beauthentic confidenceiskey #selflove #selfappreciation #selfloveisthebestlove #selflovesunday #selfacceptance #lovingyourself #youareworthy #positivity #lovethyself #lifestrategies #positivemindset #mindsetiskey #copingcards #andreeabaudicicoaching #selfcarelifestyle
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