The 4 Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves

I am so grateful I came across Brene Brown’s post today on Linkedin because she reminded me some of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in the last 5-6 years which made a huge difference in the quality of my life and I want to share them with you as well. She talks about 3 lies, but I dared to add one more because I’ve learned it the hard way, of course 🙂 but you don’t have to.

For everyone dealing with anxiety (and panic attacks) this concept (nr. 4 below) might bring you a new perspective on who you are and how to incorporate anxiety in your life.

These are one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves (consciously or unconsciously) and they always limit ourselves (so much !) and keep us away from our goals and happiness.

1️⃣💕 We are never the things we own. If I own many things (physical possession) that don’t make me a different person. I am the same with or without money and things.

2️⃣💞 We are never what we do. If we are managers, CEOs, call center operators, waitress – it doesn’t mean I am more/less important than other people. It’s just a false sense of importance (or less important) of the EGO. 
Examples here: ‘I am the … so of course, I should have…’ 
‘If I’ll be a manager, I’ll be happier’, ‘I can’t leave my job’.
@For all you out there who live for your work/job and you identify yourself with your job description – What we do for a living does not define who we are. It took me 7 years to learn this lesson. 

3️⃣💓 Other people’s opinion on me is not my concern. I often hear this around me and makes me cringe. What my colleagues/friends/strangers think about me should not be important to us. We can never satisfy everyone and the only opinion you need to care about is yourself about you. Why? Because I KNOW MY WORTH, I know who I am at my core, other people’s opinions on me are just information. They cannot touch you, they don’t have an echo. If you think about yourself you don’t know how to do your job – every time a colleague will make a remotely small comment about your work, you’ll take it in to validate your theory. The longer you keep it like this, the more you’ll start to believe they are right.
Work on getting to know who you truly are (if you wouldn’t have possessions, this job, or any work/professional achievements) and you will not have to worry about what other people think about it another day in your life. 
Start with who you were when you were 5y old – that was our most authentic self. It was the society, norms, social pressure, school and all the rest who changed who we were as kids. #foodforthought

4️⃣💗 I would dare to add another one, from my own box of tools, one more lie which took many hours of personal development to understand and move past. !! We are not what we feel.

Especially related to anxiety and other debilitating emotions like shame, guilt, and anger.
If we’re feeling anxiety from time to time, it does not mean I am an anxious person. If I am feeling guilt in a certain context, it doesn’t mean I am a bad person and the list goes on. We are not what we feel. We only have these emotions in some certain contexts, with some certain triggers. It does not define us. If we’re able to understand, accept and take in with us wherever we go the idea that we are not our feelings, fears, and worries – they are just coming and going – we’ll set ourselves free.

** Anxiety PRO tip – feeling like the worries and the fears are starting to bubble up? Help yourself feel Safe & Secure (anxiety will go away by doing this: stand against a wall, with your back and head leaning against the wall, on your toes (let your whole body weight lean in against the wall, let the feeling of support appear as you stand there) and tell yourself out loud: ‘I am safe. I have nothing to be afraid of. Everything is going to be ok. I am safe and secure. All the things/scenarios that I am worried /thinking about are just a piece of my imagination; right now I am safe and nothing can happen to me.”

The three big lies we tell to ourselves

If you find yourself as well in one of the situations above or just want to know more about anxiety and how to overcome it, don’t hesitate to write to me about your story. We are all using these type of stories in order to help us cope with something, but to grow as a person, we need to be able to talk about them first, and only then change the way we look at things.

About Andreea Baudici

I help Millennials overcome their fears, unlock their true potential and achieve their life and career goals through self-awareness, emotional intelligence and coaching techniques [See 'What is coaching' section for further details]. As a Millennial myself I fully understand and empathize with all the changes in our society that were not there 20y ago: fast paced environment, technology, social pressure and high expectations which today leads to anxiety and general overwhelm. If you ever feel stuck, confused, demotivated or you just want to better understand yourself and improve your life quality don't hesitate to write me and we'll figure it out from there. We are all different and that is what makes as unique.

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